At every juncture in life we come across a decision that we have to make the proverbial Line in the Sand. Do we cross it? Do we stay on one side or do we see if the repercussions are worth it to edge over that what we know and go where we shouldn't.
I've been contemplating monogamy and celibacy and the role that it plays in the human existence. Broken or single parent families sexual diseases Broken Heart loneliness jaded mistrust all of those speak for being in a monogamous relationship where you fully trust your partner. Not to mention the religious aspects tax benefits housing benefits societies expectations.
But let's talk about the biological and mental aspects. your sex drive is natural the emotional and mental need to connect is natural to those of us who believe in a higher power we believe those things are god-given mostly to procreate and have a societal apprpriate relationship with your family unfortunately when you are sans partner, it doesn't turn off the normal physiological and emotional mental needs to be with the person what then? Do we doom our self to hell if we give in to our base nature or do we become pious and martyr ourselves in the reach for being chaste?
Someday I will meet and marry mr. Right and I'm guessing he doesn't want to know that I have been around practicing my talents and gifts. At the same time I hope he's not sitting around waiting for me and he's lonely and deprived. Hell baby until I'm with you make sure you take care of you all understand and to all the women out there that took care of you thank you.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Monday, May 3, 2010
Biopsy...the kiss of death or just the end of my sex life?
I know, so not sexual....for the most part. But how about a different perspective about a body part you people seem to worship.
First....a uterine biopsy is not fun. Kinda rates right up there with a pap smear. Or anal sex with no lube. However when you have a huge mass on that deck of cards size organ they tend to become nervous nellies and for some reason HAVE to have a piece of it.
I''m pretty sure that the easiest thing to would of been just to drug me (I'm totally fun when loopy), cut me open and just fucking remove the damn organ AND then run their little experiments on it and let me just recover, eat hospital food, and get a 24 hour break from my rug rats. And maybe get a sponge bath from a hot nurse. Male or female. I'm a equal opportunity perv.
But alas that's not what I got.
I got to strip from the waist down, slide my ass to the edge of the world and spread my legs so far apart my knees were in 2 different time zones. And wait. By myself. BORING. It's not like you rub one out while waiting just for shits and giggles. Not to mention those 'toys' the doc has on the little metal table don't' look enjoyable. Well, the over size speculum was kinda kinky cool.
Doc comes in, shakes my hand, then washes hers. Snaps on the latex gloves and I flinched. Me. Latex. Not a good combo. But hell, she's the doc and must protect herself and me from whatever germs are floating around on her hands and my vagina.
I start breathing deeply....and try to go to my relaxing place. She takes that speculum, runs it under warm water (I so love female GYNs. They 'get it') and proceeds to place it in me and...
omg. what the fuck is she doing to me? Usually when that body part is opening that wide I've had an epidural and I'm trying to push a baby out. HOLY CRAP that fucking HURTS. Breath. Breath. Breath. Then she uses some sort of mascara brush to coat the inside of my girly parts with iodine. Yeah. Looks like a oompa loompa came inside me.
Her next torture device is this long giant Slurpee straw. I swear, the first thing that popped in my head is that they are going to charge my insurance company $300 for something I could walk into any 7-11 and get for free. She sticks that iceee cherry cola sucking stick deep inside me and I swear I almost felt it in the back of my throat. Then I get this crampy sharp feeling like someone just tried to wring my uterus out like a wet dish rag. Breathing again. And totally resisting urge to kick my GYN in the face.
She pulls it out, lays it down, presses down on the speculum and my poor little cervix and vagina pop back into place. And it's then I realize I will never ever be able to have sex with a tiny dicked man again. I'm too stretched out.
I sit up and then I almost pass out. She is plunging that straw and this long worm shaped material comes slithering out of that straw. And it's covered with little itty bitty black dots. I was totally convinced that I had some nasty organism growing inside me and started wondering if all those nights I couldn't remember shit was when some alien space ship must of kidnapped me and impregnated me with their little alien off spring. But no, she assures that was im looking like is completely normal and what she expected. Well, I'm sorry. I googled uterine biopsies and NO WHERE does it say it's gonna look like a moldy spaghetti noodle or cause you to start believing in extra terrestrials.
She washes her hands, tell me to get dressed and I'm free to go. I do as she instructs and walk out, a little hunched over, but still somewhat intact.
Until I get home. I hurt. I start bleeding. Again. So I pop a few pain pills and say FUCK DETOX and go lie down. And listen to my kids fight, the dog bark, and start to cry cuz I know deep down I have earned a overnight in the hospital away from the noise and chaos. And I didn't get it.
24 hours later I get a call because my preliminary tests shows "abnormal cell growth" and would I please come in. However they can't get me in for a week. Geesh. I hope I don't die before then.
Fast forward to Monday at 3:30. I went in to get my results. Doc comes in, shakes my hand, opens my chart and says "I have good news and I have bad news. Good news....No cancer. Bad news....I kinda forgot to do a pap smear when I was doing your biopsy. I need you to strip down from the waist and let's get this taken care of."
I replied, "Look, that's twice in a week you have gotten to play with my va jay jay. I think you owe me dinner". She looked at me like I just sprouted a second head. Damn doc didn't get it.
So here we go again. But this time, I start making my grocery list in my head and next thing I know it's over. Just like when I have boring sex.
I told her to text me the results of my pap smear. Instead, they call me. And this time get me in 24 hours later.
Fuck. I have Cervical Cancer.
I'm given a shot to put me into Menopause to prepare my body for surgery and I am left grieving. Who am I if I'm not allowed to express my sexual nature. Will my body betray me once again?
I'm told that the biggest sex organ is the brain. I'm praying they are right. Because mentally I know I need it, I want it, and I HAVE to HAVE it. So I hope my brain will kick in where my body fails me.
Time will tell.
First....a uterine biopsy is not fun. Kinda rates right up there with a pap smear. Or anal sex with no lube. However when you have a huge mass on that deck of cards size organ they tend to become nervous nellies and for some reason HAVE to have a piece of it.
I''m pretty sure that the easiest thing to would of been just to drug me (I'm totally fun when loopy), cut me open and just fucking remove the damn organ AND then run their little experiments on it and let me just recover, eat hospital food, and get a 24 hour break from my rug rats. And maybe get a sponge bath from a hot nurse. Male or female. I'm a equal opportunity perv.
But alas that's not what I got.
I got to strip from the waist down, slide my ass to the edge of the world and spread my legs so far apart my knees were in 2 different time zones. And wait. By myself. BORING. It's not like you rub one out while waiting just for shits and giggles. Not to mention those 'toys' the doc has on the little metal table don't' look enjoyable. Well, the over size speculum was kinda kinky cool.
Doc comes in, shakes my hand, then washes hers. Snaps on the latex gloves and I flinched. Me. Latex. Not a good combo. But hell, she's the doc and must protect herself and me from whatever germs are floating around on her hands and my vagina.
I start breathing deeply....and try to go to my relaxing place. She takes that speculum, runs it under warm water (I so love female GYNs. They 'get it') and proceeds to place it in me and...
omg. what the fuck is she doing to me? Usually when that body part is opening that wide I've had an epidural and I'm trying to push a baby out. HOLY CRAP that fucking HURTS. Breath. Breath. Breath. Then she uses some sort of mascara brush to coat the inside of my girly parts with iodine. Yeah. Looks like a oompa loompa came inside me.
Her next torture device is this long giant Slurpee straw. I swear, the first thing that popped in my head is that they are going to charge my insurance company $300 for something I could walk into any 7-11 and get for free. She sticks that iceee cherry cola sucking stick deep inside me and I swear I almost felt it in the back of my throat. Then I get this crampy sharp feeling like someone just tried to wring my uterus out like a wet dish rag. Breathing again. And totally resisting urge to kick my GYN in the face.
She pulls it out, lays it down, presses down on the speculum and my poor little cervix and vagina pop back into place. And it's then I realize I will never ever be able to have sex with a tiny dicked man again. I'm too stretched out.
I sit up and then I almost pass out. She is plunging that straw and this long worm shaped material comes slithering out of that straw. And it's covered with little itty bitty black dots. I was totally convinced that I had some nasty organism growing inside me and started wondering if all those nights I couldn't remember shit was when some alien space ship must of kidnapped me and impregnated me with their little alien off spring. But no, she assures that was im looking like is completely normal and what she expected. Well, I'm sorry. I googled uterine biopsies and NO WHERE does it say it's gonna look like a moldy spaghetti noodle or cause you to start believing in extra terrestrials.
She washes her hands, tell me to get dressed and I'm free to go. I do as she instructs and walk out, a little hunched over, but still somewhat intact.
Until I get home. I hurt. I start bleeding. Again. So I pop a few pain pills and say FUCK DETOX and go lie down. And listen to my kids fight, the dog bark, and start to cry cuz I know deep down I have earned a overnight in the hospital away from the noise and chaos. And I didn't get it.
24 hours later I get a call because my preliminary tests shows "abnormal cell growth" and would I please come in. However they can't get me in for a week. Geesh. I hope I don't die before then.
Fast forward to Monday at 3:30. I went in to get my results. Doc comes in, shakes my hand, opens my chart and says "I have good news and I have bad news. Good news....No cancer. Bad news....I kinda forgot to do a pap smear when I was doing your biopsy. I need you to strip down from the waist and let's get this taken care of."
I replied, "Look, that's twice in a week you have gotten to play with my va jay jay. I think you owe me dinner". She looked at me like I just sprouted a second head. Damn doc didn't get it.
So here we go again. But this time, I start making my grocery list in my head and next thing I know it's over. Just like when I have boring sex.
I told her to text me the results of my pap smear. Instead, they call me. And this time get me in 24 hours later.
Fuck. I have Cervical Cancer.
I'm given a shot to put me into Menopause to prepare my body for surgery and I am left grieving. Who am I if I'm not allowed to express my sexual nature. Will my body betray me once again?
I'm told that the biggest sex organ is the brain. I'm praying they are right. Because mentally I know I need it, I want it, and I HAVE to HAVE it. So I hope my brain will kick in where my body fails me.
Time will tell.
Oral Obsessive
I can't stop thinking about my mouth on you.
Am I the ONLY one who craves the feel of a hard cock on her tongue, his hands in her hair, the feel of his thighs trembling up against the side of her head as she gently sucks his balls and moves her tongue down to his beautiful ass...his breathing becoming more and more labored as the tip of his cock pushes deep into the back of my throat.
Or the taste of a woman, her smooth clean pussy so damp, glistening, and her clit getting harder and swelling with each flick of my tongue. The way she squirms as my tongue penetrates her deep inside.
It's almost intoxicating to be on the giving end. A position of power to know that you have them on the brink of where reality and a different dimension collide. Where just one more movement of your mouth can send them to ecstasy.
Don't get me wrong. I love penetration. I NEED to feel a hard dick sliding inside me. When I'm on the receiving end of a warm mouth I like nothing better to cum hard and without a second to breath being flipped over and taken from behind, and pounded hard. Or if the mood calls for it, typical missionary style looking into my lover's eyes and moving slowly as we let the feeling build and have just a moment of true intimacy.
But after it's over, lie back down and let me lick you clean.Let me look at you while I worship you with my soft lips and demanding tongue. Why? Because I cannot get enough. And the orgasm I invariably always have while taking you higher is just as intense for me. Because when I'm giving, I am also receiving.
Am I the ONLY one who craves the feel of a hard cock on her tongue, his hands in her hair, the feel of his thighs trembling up against the side of her head as she gently sucks his balls and moves her tongue down to his beautiful ass...his breathing becoming more and more labored as the tip of his cock pushes deep into the back of my throat.
Or the taste of a woman, her smooth clean pussy so damp, glistening, and her clit getting harder and swelling with each flick of my tongue. The way she squirms as my tongue penetrates her deep inside.
It's almost intoxicating to be on the giving end. A position of power to know that you have them on the brink of where reality and a different dimension collide. Where just one more movement of your mouth can send them to ecstasy.
Don't get me wrong. I love penetration. I NEED to feel a hard dick sliding inside me. When I'm on the receiving end of a warm mouth I like nothing better to cum hard and without a second to breath being flipped over and taken from behind, and pounded hard. Or if the mood calls for it, typical missionary style looking into my lover's eyes and moving slowly as we let the feeling build and have just a moment of true intimacy.
But after it's over, lie back down and let me lick you clean.Let me look at you while I worship you with my soft lips and demanding tongue. Why? Because I cannot get enough. And the orgasm I invariably always have while taking you higher is just as intense for me. Because when I'm giving, I am also receiving.
Friends, Lovers, and Next.....
Fuck Buddy: someone you like for one purpose....get laid and get out. No idle chit chat, no post orgasmic cuddle, no nothing. Make me cum and don't let the door hit ya on the way out. Traditional wam-bam-thank you ma'am. Your one night stand might turn into a once a week, once a month or once a year. You don't care. Just get your sweet ass over and do that thing you do.
Friends with Benefits: someone you hang out with, forward dirty texts to, can talk to, watch a movie on the couch with, will invite them to a BBQ, a movie, Nascar parties, play tennis, etc and know that eventually the clothes will be coming off. Most times can be followed up with either more sex, breakfast, and a fond kiss goodbye.
Dating: you are escorting or accompanying them out and about. You even tell your best friend about them. You would consider a nice birthday card and flowers for her birthday and at some point the clothes are coming off. And spending the night isn't such a big deal. You may or may not be seeing someone else. Of course, if you are seeing someone else you are up front about it because you take pride in being a decent human being. And not telling is grounds for bumping you to not with someone else's pussy status.
Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Well, you're having sex, going out, told your best friend, and now possibly your family. You are obligated to family functions not limited to weddings, funerals, and baby showers. And you are now OFF limits to anyone else without express consent of the other partner. And yes, that does include her sister, the sexy girl who pours your coffee at the diner, and the hottie who moved next door. Of course, the first time your girlfriend looks at you coyly and suggests bringing her best friend in your bedroom as she is stroking your hard cock you almost explode right there and consider marrying her and keeping her to yourself.
After that, it's all over. What's next. More importantly, who's next? The cycle repeats itself.
Ugh. It's enough to wonder why you keep throwing yourself out there. I have the answer to that too...or at least WHY I do.
1)Sex. Pure and simple. It's a human biological need. Rates right after air, food, water, and chocolate. I need it. At least twice a week. Preferably twice a day. I'm. So. Not. Kidding.
2)Feeds an human contact need. I'm sorry. There is nothing more intoxicating that those hands on your ass bringing you in closer at you inhale their scent and feel the curves and contours of their body right before their mouth descends on yours. The heat of their fingers both soothes and burns your own skin and your head spins.
3)Emotional need: Don't ya love that delicious tummy flutter and stupid ass grin you get when you know you are about to cum at least a dozen times, sometimes without him even touching you. It's that 'look' he gives you. That naughty text. The way he strokes your face while he's dropping butterfly kisses all over your face. You can't help it. You are only human.
Yeah. That stuff makes me dust myself off, put on the mini skirt,thigh highs, heels, and easy access panties and yell "NEXT!"
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